Questioning the social stigma!

                   
This morning my friend Rahul came upto me and told me that he is fed up and he would either leave home or do something more drastic just to make everything stop.

Effeminate actor Penn Bradgley with Uma Thurman

So let’s just rewind back a little to get to how exactly we reached this point. Rahul is a regular Indian teenager. A part of a reputed college, he is from a well to do family. On the surface everything looks well, but there is something ‘terribly wrong’ with Rahul. Something that somehow sets him apart from the rest of his peers.  Rahul happens to be effeminate in nature. He is what most of his friends call extremely “girly” or even “gay”.

What we fail to understand most of the time that there is a vast difference between being “gay” and being effeminate. Society has set certain norms that have to be religiously followed by both men and women. Men are seen as superior beings who are supposed to be strong, power hungry, dominating and often a bit of an ass. A man is not supposed to have feelings or sensitivity and God forbid if he does have these he is supposed to conceal it as though it were his worst secret. A man isn’t supposed to express his emotions, that is the girls area of expertise. He should not be concerned with appearances . He has to be seen as the master of the universe.


To sum it all up, men are expected to be what we call "MACHO". If the “man” isn’t any one of these things he is considered to be effeminate or female like. He is what the society considers a ‘sub-man’and more often than not ‘gay’. What people fail to take into consideration is the fact that there is a vast difference between being effeminate and being homosexual. An effeminate male is a person who has certain feminine characteristics but whose being homosexual is absolutely subjective. Every effeminate male is not  homosexual and every homosexual male is not effeminate. It is important that we keep that in mind.

Gender norms are making life stifling for both males and females and it is necessary that we speak up against this instead of surrendering meekly and dying a thousand deaths everyday pretending to be something that we are not. This goes out to all the men out there.  It is not a crime to have feelings. It is okay to care. You need to speak up for yourself and not bother if society thinks it is not ‘manly’ enough to voice your grievances.

The youth of today have the opportunity to make their voices heard and we have to make the most of it so that the next generation does not suffer because of the mindset of society like we did. Men are equally abhorrent and scared of today's society just as women are! Don't forget that!



About the Author :- 



Valentina Notts is a student of English literature hailing from St.Xavier's college, Kolkata. Her interests lie in books, movies and working for a society whose bedrock would be constituted by equality!