Feminism and Chivalry

In the aftermath of International Women’s Day, with clarion calls for the rights of women echoing around the globe, I was moved suddenly to write about this.

Feminism is probably one of the most misunderstood notions in the world, mostly because of so many issues, this has been morphed and twisted to suit the vested interests of many people, all of who look at this in different ways. I, however, look at it as the general underlying equality between men and women. Regardless of many skewed opinions, feminism does not mean women are better than men and it does not entail a society that is matriarchal. How are we achieving equality then? Is it not just another version of gender-based discrimination? I am a feminist, and I will never hesitate to raise my voice at any incidence of misogyny and will perpetually hope to break these shackles that patriarchy will doubtlessly attempt to subdue me with.

Psychologically, according to Sigmund Freud, the Id which is the basis of all psychic energy that resides in our unconscious, and is a building block of one’s personality, is energized basically by the ‘libido’ – sexual and aggressive desires. An individual is inherently pleasure-seeking, so how can one’s body (asexuality notwithstanding) not need another, from the depths of the primal sexual pleasure driven urge that possesses all mammals, even humans? Secondly, and this is one of my pet peeves; when the so-called ‘true feminists’ indulge in what can only be called absolute contempt towards any woman who takes care of her body. This is irrational for two reasons. Firstly, this is an imposition of the true meaning of a way of life that honestly, no one should have the right to. Secondly, and more alarmingly, this is a declaration of how unconsciously we succumb to the hegemony of patriarchy. In an effort to prove ourselves as separate from, and superior to, men, there is an attempt to deny women the right to do whatever they want with their body. The same is true for any argument against slut-shaming.

Chivalry is defined as "courteous behaviour, especially that of a man towards a woman",  which ‘feminists’ seem to find offensive, because they believe this entails that the woman is dependent on the man, has no identity of her own and cannot function without his help. This is why, chivalry when expressed is frowned upon, and the woman who is ‘allowing’ it is dismissed as dependent and a blow to feminism everywhere. This is not true. Independence, in my opinion, involves the ability to be able to be self-sufficient and self-reliant definitely, but as long as this is effectively communicated to the man, it is also the freedom to enjoy being pampered, loved and assisted whenever one wants to be. If my boyfriend is paying for our meal at the end of a date, or is opening doors for me, this is acceptable as long as he understands that I can do the same without him as well. Probably since many women fail to communicate this efficiently, for whatever reason, or if the man refuses to understand this simple fact; chivalry transforms into the ugly face of patriarchy.

I honestly believe that feminism should not be a choice, for either of the genders. In a world where equality is becoming a forgotten norm, feminism should be as essential as food and water.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rajeshwari Dasgupta, a student of Political Science at St. Xavier's College, Kolkata, is an avid reader, with a special obsession with dystopia and a surrealistic world-view. Her passions include music, theatre, petting her dog, and writing to keep herself sane.